Marriage is hard.

That’s really an understatement, but it’s one worth saying. There’s a reason why the rate of divorce in the United States is running near 50%, and according to some data, Nevada has one of the highest divorce rates in the country.

It’s easy to get caught up in that “honeymoon” stage early on in the relationship, assuming everything moving forward will be easy when you’re married to your best friend, but all relationships take work. No relationship is ever easy when they are between two people with (if we’re all being honest) frequently selfish tendencies and behaviors. 

But if you’re in it for the long haul—as everyone should be—there are aspects to keep in mind, both about yourself and your relationship with your spouse. Whether you’re single, recently engaged, or celebrating your golden anniversary, there’s always something to learn that can positively impact the relationship and make it better. Here are three things to keep in mind no matter what stage of life you’re in.

It's OK to Ask for Help

Oftentimes, couples view themselves as failures if they admit the relationship has hit a hard time and they are in need of help. And what every already married couple knows to be true is that those hard times are going to come. They are inevitable. When reality sets in and the rose colored glasses are gone, there will be tough moments. Whether caused by outside circumstances or within the relationship itself, marital conflict leaves both parties wondering how they are going to make it through TOGETHER. But here’s the secret (that shouldn’t be a secret): reaching out for help is normal. Far too often couples keep problems to themselves, internalizing them to the point they begin questioning the relationship and wondering if they were meant to be together. Instead of stewing on the problem that you can’t seem to solve, reach out to a third party for a little help and guidance, whether that’s a trusted friend, pastor, or marital counselor. Asking for help is not giving up—in fact, it’s exactly the opposite. It’s showing yourself and your spouse just how much you care about one another.

Mental Health Matters

When those tough times inevitably come, it’s common for one spouse to struggle to some degree with mental health. That could be postpartum depression or anxiety after having kids, depression, or any myriad of life changes. When one part of a couple is dealing with depression or some sort of mental health problem, so is the marriage. In these moments, it’s critical to be supportive of the struggling spouse and encourage them to seek help. 

Because of this role mental health plays within a marriage, it’s also important for singles to prioritize their mental health before getting married. If you don’t know how to reach out when you’re struggling prior to getting married, it’s even harder when married. So equip yourself with the needed mental health tools—they’ll help you now and for years to come.

Know Yourself First

Don’t enter into marriage expecting your spouse to complete you. That’s not something that someone else can fulfill. When that unrealistic expectation is set, it almost immediately leads to issues within the marriage. This is why it’s so important to know who you are and be grounded in that well before you ever get married. If you know yourself, your needs, and your expectations as a single, you’ll have much more realistic expectations of your partner—and yourself—after you say “I do.”

No Marriage—or Person—is Perfect

A slogan we use at Hope Community Church rather frequently is that “no perfect people are allowed.” Well, there are no perfect people. That also means there are no perfect marriages. The good news is that despite all of our imperfections, we can be transformed through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He can transform you, and He can transform even the seemingly lost marriages. Putting Him first within your marriage can lead to incredible growth, both for you individually and your relationship together.

Wherever you fall on the marriage spectrum—whether you’ve been married for years, are newly married, preparing to get married, or feeling isolated because you are not married—we’d love to come alongside you and help. Please join us during one of our Sunday services [LINK TO PLAN YOUR VISIT PAGE], or simply share your prayer request with us and we will walk with you on your journey. [LINK TO PRAYER REQEUST PAGE]